Do’s and Don’ts of First Date Conversation

The first date can be scary enough without you sticking your foot in your mouth by making a comment or bringing up a topic that is not suitable for first date conversation. When we are nervous in a situation, we tend to ramble or bring up topics that we swore we would avoid. Keeping yourself on point is important during a first date. Here are some do’s and don’ts to follow:

Don’t Talk About Politics & Religion – Politics and religion are hot points for many people. If your views are differing then an easy conversation can quickly escalate to a full blown argument. We tend to be more accepting to other people’s views after we get to know them and how they think. Prior to that point, we would rather beat them over the head to see our point of view than hear what they have to say. It is a recipe for disaster.

Do Talk About Your Flaws – First dates are all about getting to know someone. If you met online, then you have already had some conversation before your date. The first date is the perfect time to talk about your flaws, what makes you tick and things you want to change about yourself. You will be transparent to the other person and give them a chance to see how you really feel, deep down.

Don’t Talk About Exes – A brief mention of an ex is likely to happen in first date conversation, but when you spend more than five minutes talking about your ex – you’ve gone too far. Typically the only reason we still talk, in excess, about our exes is because we are still hung up on them. We still think about the pain that they caused us and despite our best efforts, we are not over them. Talking about an ex can actually push a potential new mate away.

Do Talk About Your Family – Your family is a part of who you are. While you always want to be careful about how much information you divulge to someone you have just met, you can talk about the basics of your family. How many siblings do you have? Are your parents married/divorced? Where do they live and what do they do for a living? All of these tidbits of information are likely to turn into a deeper conversation all together.

Don’t Control the Conversation – As a chatty Kathy myself, it is often hard to not want to keep talking. But when you keep talking, you prevent the other person from having a chance to really say something. Try to not be a chatty Kathy. Talk half as much as you want to and listen to what your date is saying. Ask questions about the information he provides and encourage him to speak more.

Do Ask Open Ended Questions – The best way to keep a conversation going is through open ended questions. When you ask simple questions where a person can answer yes or no, it makes it easy to cut the conversation there. When you ask open-ended questions you are making the person give a detailed response which will open the conversation to more questions and keep it flowing smoothly.